Walking To My Mother's

I lived at the Morningstar Ranch during a time frame I am uncertain of (normal for that time period), probably somewhere between 1967-1968. While at Morningstar, I decided to go to visit my stepmother and half-brother who lived in Santa Paula, California. I do not remember ever telling anybody that I was leaving. The trip was going to take a couple of days, so I put on my grey, wool blanket cape with a patch (which was also my sleeping bag, the patch was from scrape during the quilting bee at Morningstar), my Red Ball boots, corduroy pants, and belt made by Mia. I then walked or got a ride out to the highway. Hitching was very easy to do at that time.

When I finally got to the freeway (say what you will), I walked up the ramp, stopped, turned, and immediately caught a ride to San Francisco. Rides were never a problem in those days.

I spent that night under a viaduct somewhere near Santa Maria, CA. I made my bed. I was over halfway to my stepmother's home, and it was good sleeping. The next morning, I arose and dusted myself and blanket off. I checked my Red Balls for insects. Done with my morning chores, I headed down the dusty bank to the freeway below. As I stepped onto the concrete, I noticed a police cruiser coming down the on ramp. I had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, so I turned my back to him and started walking.

I heard a swirl of sound, and then silence. I turned and stopped. The cop came over to me and stated that it was against the law to hitchhike on the freeway. I told him that I was walking to my mother's house. He said that if I was going to walk to my mother's house, then I should use the state highways. I told him that this was the straightest way to go and also the fastest since it was straight. I said that they should build sidewalks on the freeway. He said, "Get into the back seat. We're going to see the judge." On the way to the courthouse, he made light conversation about not hitchhiking on the freeway (yeah, free). I said that if they wanted me off the freeway then they should build sidewalks, they build roads don't they? He smiled and said, "Yeah." When we got to police station/courthouse, he put me into a room and said, "I'll be back shortly."

The game begins. I am blank, lost in the beauty of the moment. Nothing to worry about. Time passes, the walls are nice.

****

(Now's the time to go do what you wanted to do earlier.)

****

He came back a couple of hours later and said, "Come with me." We walked into an empty courtroom. The cop told me where to stand, and he sat at the table. We waited a while until the judge entered the courtroom. It was still morning. I guess my case was the first thing on that day's agenda. The judge looked at me. He looked at the police officer. He looked back at me. He then asked the police officer what the problem was. The officer said that I was hitchhiking on the freeway. The judge looked at me again and asked if this was true. The judge wanted only the truth, nothing but the truth. I said that I was walking to my mother's house. The judge said that if I wanted to walk to my mother's house, then I should use the state highways. I told him that the freeways were the quickest and straightest way to go, and that if they did not want me to walk on the freeway, then they should build sidewalks along the edge of the freeways. The judge stopped and stared at me as if I belonged in an insane asylum. I remained standing. He motioned for the officer to come into his chambers. The officer immediately complied. I am blank, lost in the beauty of the moment. In my mind I see bicycle paths and sidewalks across America's Garden of Eden. Green, lush landscapes with bicycle paths and sidewalks. Friends meeting, men bowing to ladies. People laughing, looking over our cliffs of beauty to the sea. Wandering the lush paths of Kentucky and Hawaii. Watching the sun rising on the shores of Lake Michigan. Walking the path next to the amber waves of grain. Riding your bike from sea to shining sea. Land, roads, sidewalks, and paths as they should be.

Ten or fifteen minutes later, they both came back into the room. The officer motioned for me to follow him. I did. We walked through the police station courthouse rooms. We walked outside. He then motioned for me to get into the back seat of his cruiser, and I complied. We then drove off. On the road, we make small talk and drove. After about 10 minutes, he stopped the cruiser and said, "This is as far I can go." Were we at the county line? He let me out, and I thank him for the ride. We wave goodbye. Pity the next longhair who tries to catch a ride in Santa Maria, CA. The rest of the trip was uneventful until I got to my stepmother's house. When I arrived at the block that I thought they live on, I looked for clues (I had only been here once before). I walked up the street, dug out a piece of paper with the house number, and walked to it. I went up the concrete walkway, up onto the stoop. I rang the doorbell, and I waited. Nothing happened, I turned and walked to the side of the house, all the while thinking that maybe they are out back. Nothing. As I walked back to the stoop, I noticed a window curtain falling back into place. I stood at the door and knocked on the knocker,

lightly. Nothing.

I heard, "God damn!!" "God damn, Dennis, is that you?" coming from the side of the house. It was Tony, my stepmother's latest husband. He muttered "Jesus Christ” as he walked around me. Grey wool blanket cape (with red patch), church-colored corduroys, Red Ball boots, and belt made by Mia.

I smiled, glad to see him. He was our landlord when I was growing up. He motioned for me to come around to the back of the house. Out back, he said, "Wait a minute." He walked into the house and I heard him say, "Maggie, its Dennis." Maggie was forever neat and tidy, with doilies everywhere, a child of the Forties. I heard several “¡Dios míos!” (My God), and then she showed herself. Tony said that Gil (my half-brother) should be home soon from grammar school. Maggie said that I was not coming into the house like that (like what?). Tony said, "Maggie!" They looked at each other (I see family in their eyes). She reluctantly waved me into the house. Tony promptly ushered me into the bathroom, and pointed to the shower. Somehow I got clean clothes, a home haircut, but I didn't part with the cape or the Red Balls. Gil arrived home from school and we acted like the kids that we were. Maggie started cooking while Tony smoked his pipe in his chair. We had a wonderful reunion and supper. After dinner, Maggie washed the dishes, and then baked them in the oven. I swear that this is a true story.

+

I never realized that I had scared the crap out of Maggie, so what did she do? She sent her husband Tony out to investigate the creature at her door.

I never realized that people would have terrifying dreams about their children being in a commune like Morningstar. After thirty years I am sure that people still have terrifying dreams that their children will turn up at one of these communes like Morningstar.

Morningstar had no voice in what we thought or did, our minds were free to roam the universe. There was no person or idea being pounded into our minds. The youth there, they were free to be. I can see some concern. Morningstar was more like your parents saying, “I’ll be gone for a month, you and your friends do what you like." type of commune. Whatever was done was done because someone wanted to do

it. Nothing could control the minds of the people of Morningstar. Their minds and bodies were not confined by the boundaries of the ranch.

****

I guess by baking the dishes she cleansed her home from disease. I never realized at the time what she was doing. I knew that she was clean, very clean, so this came as no surprise.

The Sun Day

Good Morning,
We have clouds; you know the clouds of winter, here it is rain. I am watching Kentucky play basketball. Making some drawings for our coloring book.

Hawaiian Shirt

Good Morning,

Today I weed eat and buy food for us to eat plus get a battery for my LX 176. We may also drop off the Red Truck at the repair shop.

I am in a mixed up mode when it comes to sleeping. I go to sleep by taking cat naps during the day then going to bed at 5:00 PM and then waking at 1:00 AM.and staying up until my first nap. I do work after 4:00 AM and when the sun comes up go out and work in the garage or mow when the dew is gone (about 9:30 AM) . So I will start weed eating about 9:00 AM. I did wash whites yesterday morning and patched a hole in my Hawaiian Shirt.

Monday Morning

Good Morning,

While I was doing chores a few minutes ago; the top of my right thigh started tingling; that is my sign to rest my back. I can walk around a mall for about 20 minutes when my thigh/leg starts tingling; I know then it is time to find the old folks seats and gossip with whoever is there. That is why I started writing. I knew that I could not write, spell or give a speech ( I am a mumbler) but heh I have that freedom and I did like canery row, the tale of 2 cities and the raven.

***



They could be Enlightened


I remember Kyle asking me if I wanted to go to a Buddhist monastery somewhere near Carmel in California. I agreed and we started hitching and walking to Carmel. We asked directions there in Carmel to a Buddhist monastery somewhere in those hills. We did get a ride to the side road that went into the mountain where the monastery was located. We started walking up the winding road when some Buddhist monks came along in a car. They were just coming back from the city. They knew where we were going because the road only went to the monastery. They gave us a ride the rest of the way.
The monastery was set in front of a rock faced cliff. It looked as if some of the buildings were carved out of the stone, something like Mount Rushmore. Other wooden buildings were set in the foreground. I think that it had been some kind of resort at one time.

When we arrived, they let us in, and they said that we would have to beg for everything. We wandered around, looked into their chapel, and watched as some said their prayers. They gave us an empty wooden bowl and said we were to beg for something to eat. I didn't like that, but Kyle was determined. So, we begged and received brown rice and an orange. We sat on the ground, making a peaceful ceremony of eating and enjoyed what we got. We watched some men working who were not in Monk robes. They seamed eager to please and were pleasant to talk to. They were digging holes out by the garden. We asked one of the robed monk who they were and what they were doing. He said that they were the most spiritually enlightened. After begging and eating, they showed us something that was close to enlightenment for them.

 Tassajara Buddhist Meditation Center and Hot Springs

I think this where Kyle and I sat and enjoyed our feast

They walked us to one of the rock buildings and told us to come in. When we got inside, we felt the warmth of hot water. We ended up near a deep rectangular pit chiseled from the rock, a hot spring of their very own. They said we could go in. We went in, and it was hot, but it was good. We could understand how they could be enlightened. The water was fine.
They said that if we were to stay there at the monastery, that we would have to do what they said. Coming from my background, begging was not about to happen. I had begged all my life for some understanding, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel was something new to me, even if it was sometimes purple. I was not going to dig another tunnel for them to see the light that I was already seeing.
Kyle was ready for the challenge, but I was not. I refused. I wanted to do whatever I wanted. Kyle was upset, but he came back to Morningstar anyway.
This Moment
+
There ought to be a law against people like me who wake up and look at the day with such
great optimism. This morning was so goddamn nice, it had rained over night and it had
cleaned the air. The sun was shinning on the new green grass, giving me a deep emotional
lift. I felt good about my self and the world surrounding me. It is easy to get self-centered,
when an overwhelming pleasure surrounds your body.
I looked on the map and found the Buddhist Monastery that Kyle and I visited. It is called
Tassajara Buddhist Meditation Center.
http://www.sfzc.org/tassajara/
Tassajara Zen Mountain Center

I apparently learned a lot from these folks in one day and did not know it. Thanks Folks.
I am not into any organized form of religious practice. I have picked up pieces of
information from whatever body comes in contact with me. Be it a job, being, sight, book, TV,
news or a wonderful day.
Thanks to Lou
Thanks to
Tassajara Buddhist Meditation Center & Hot Springs

"Carrying water and chopping wood are the activities of the Buddha,"
"The everyday mind is Buddha," are two of the most well known Zen sayings.

Ebb Tide

Man has segmented the whole of life into seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years. We have used the cycles of the movement of the earth and it turns to face the sun in an equal warning of the earth. The earth spins at a rate of 1037 miles per hour and an alarming speed to maintain an axis

There are segment of time facing the sun in the spectrum of coming and going. We have slice the planet with time lines. At my age I await the day my retirement check comes in so I may navigate and survive on this planet. 

Each moment in time is a keystroke of time. I have learned to bow to god and her creations at each stroke of my pen. Life is a prayer to the existence of our time on this spinning object called earth.

We in our minds paint a picture of our creator and our time. I do not dare to stop but I know that I will; maybe this mind can splatter creations of color and speak as I see the planet.

Morning Views

Good Morning,
I am out on the deck, we have wind, blue skies, partly cloudy, birds, sounds of traffic, the sound of the pool pump, we have very green trees and a sparkling blue pool to view and hear. I am sitting outside on the deck with mom; we are viewing the day and putting water into the pool. The birds are singing and eating bird seed at the feeders.We are certainly having a good time out here.

Our grasses need my mowing, mom said she had money for gas so we will go to town and get gas.

I think we have a leak in our pool or else the sun is sucking the water out of the pool. I looked at a video that repairs pool liners,  I do not want to replace the liner just patch it.

Mending Nets & Foundation Vent

Good Morning,

Yesterday I weed-eated then went into the pool with mom; When I got out of the pool I started mending nets. Our nets are cheap and the sun rots the plastic the way they are made; so when they are fall apart I sew them back together, if they are strong enough to hold thread; maybe they will last the year; if not then we will do without that net.

This morning I will mulch then try to put a vent on the east side of our home; I have two new vents in and I have two more to install. This was on of the projects I was to work with Talon on for his birthday but it rained that day.

7:30 AM

It is time for me to get dressed and go out and mulch and hoe some weeds (on the black mulch on the West Side of our home).

9:30 AM

Mulched and hoed; set up my grease gun for the lawn tractor; resting. I did not have enough mulch to cover the area I wanted to cover but I have grass clipping to use after I mow the grasses.

1:30 PM

We just got out of the pool; the pool water was warmer than 81 degrees outside of the pool with the wind blowing. We stayed in about 45 minutes cleaning the pool.

Time for lunch and maybe a movie.

Day Off

Good Morning,

Today is the sun day and I am going to take the day off or do as the bible says and do nothing. I am not going to tithe anyone but my son or daughter. I will do this in the form of gifts.

My wife is now capable of helping anyone with any physical needs; I proposed helping my daughter and she said fine. My wife needs that kind of companionship (mother and daughter stuff).

 Today on TV there is going to be 2 fast car races. and I think I will watch them both.

Next week I will take some sod from around the yard and place it around the man hole on the street ( I will lift if from different places as to not shock the yard). I will level the area and put the sod in place so the mower will blades will not touch it.

Sleep Times

Good Morning,

I was up early enough to hear the garbage man come by and pick up the trash; It was almost light when i got up which is a little later than I normally get up; I need to evolve back toward a sleeping time of about 8:00 PM instead of going to be at 5:00 PM; I love the morning quiet and the darkness of morning and the sunrise; I do not look at the sun but see the light of day. I looked at the RADAR and it looks as if we may get some rain by 9:00 AM.

Remarkable Event - Remarkable Spring

Good Morning, 

We seem to have taken the day off yesterday after going to the dump; Bless these  tired bodies; we got a call from Martha a friend from Cub Scouts.She went to Paducah to try to and find old photos  from a Photo Studio that went out of business, The owner left the photos to the church. Martha said she saw our name on a group of photos and she brought them back home and called us. Remarkable. I think mom called you to tell you about the photos.
I think you should put mom on a special ring on your phone.
We both feel good this morning, mentally and physically.
The tomatoes are doing fine outside in their bed of soil; we did not plant the Roma's yet we just kind of quit for the day. We did eat birthday cake and ice cream.
I just had my second cup of coffee and mom got her tea this morning.
Today is the Sun Day or Son Day or as we say in America Sunday. Any of those days is suitable for us here in Western Kentucky. Everyone we talk to absolutely loves the weather as it is today.

I watched this episode of "Ask This Old House" and I loved the idea of asking butterflies, hummingbirds and bees to visit our home. The episode had shade loving plants as well as tall and short plants.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98lHNkL0eyM&list=PLkJADc1qDrr-WR22vZOUsp2kNARo8Pwpd



The flowers, shrubs and grasses used were native and adapted species chosen to attract pollinators, and include:

Perennials:
Agastache 'Rosie Posie' (Anise Hyssop)
Amsonia hubrichtii (Blue Star)
Asclepias tub. 'Hello Yellow' (Butterfly Weed)
Baptisia 'Indigo Spires' (False Indigo)
Chelone 'Hot Lips' (Turtleheads)
Echinacea 'Pow Wow Wild Berry' (Coneflower)
Eupatorium 'Little Joe' (Joe Pye Weed)
Dryopteris x australis (Dixie Wood Fern)
Helianthus 'Sunshine Daydream' (Many-flowered Sunflower)
Liatris 'Kobold' (Liatris/Blazing Star)
Penstemon 'Dark Towers' (Beardtongue)
Phlox pan. 'David' (Garden Phlox)
Phlox pan. 'Laura' (Garden Phlox)
Phlox pan. 'Nicky' (Garden Phlox)
Stokesia 'Peachie's Pick' (Stoke's Aster)

Grasses:
Panicum virgatum 'Cape Breeze' (Switchgrass)
Panicum virgatum 'Heavy Metal' (Switchgrass)

Shrubs:
Fothergilla gardenii (Dwarf Fothergilla)
Hydrangea quercifolia 'Alice (Oakleaf Hydrangea)
Ilex glabra 'Shamrock' (Inkberry Holly)
Itea virginica 'Henry's Garnet' (Virginia Sweetspire)
Lindera benzoin (Spice Bush)

The Sun/Son Day

Good Morning,

Optional meanings are a good thing for the mind; we have to remember man created most of the language skills and rules. It does makes sense because we can decipher most any language written or spoken.

***

Enjoying life

I see where the prescription is followed but the meaning is not understood. The whole thing whether it is pain or pleasure is to understand it (pain and pleasure and everything in-between) as part of life and life is to be enjoyed.

I understand my limits and I can assume that that is not a good thing but life does a strange thing it ignores me and learns; that is good and I enjoy that.

***

This was written Sunday.

9 Degrees

Good Morning,

I have 9 degrees on the front stoop  (Northern Exposure) and 11 degrees on the back deck (Southern Exposure). The way that works on the brick on our home is; the sun shines on our front yard first on the Eastern Corner of our home (Allison's Room) and come over to the Southern side very quickly (Mom's Room) then covers the whole back wall of our home until it sets on the West Side of the pool. That means the back brick of our home get heated most of the day and being dense the brick hold the heat over night. The same principle holds true to our crawl space below our home; the crawl space is mostly clay over a spring (water) and that keeps our crawl space heated to ground temperature at above 45 degrees over the the winter and maybe 55 degrees over the summer months. The bad side of that spring under the house is the close proximity to water when it rains; water fills the crawl space but drains very well because of the springs running water. Another bad part of the spring is that water moves soil and sand I need a lot of rock in our yard to hold the earth in place plus roots of plants and trees keep the top clay in place. Another bad thing about the spring is mold; if air does not circulate under our home. I am pretty sure that there are huge caverns under our home. The clay and rock layers keep everything in place but sink holes do pop up in places in our yard. When it rains the spring is huge and can be heard in places and it comes up at the very back of our yard as it goes into our neighbors yard.

When I was talking about the small tractor I was serious. I need tons of rock constantly and I need top soil to replace the soil that was taken when the area was landscaped to build the homes in the area (steps). This home sits on clay; at least 5' to 10' foot of top soil was removed at our home. If I win the lottery I will move or buy a small tractor and add space to our home.

Tomas Muse: Standing Still For Peace

Good Morning,

Sometimes I muse here and sometimes I muse there, this morning I mused on FaceBook. I wanted to let folks know that leaders lead folks to war and leaders lead folks to peace. God is certainly a leader as he told Moses to write what I tell you and lead your people. I wrote about how strong warriors were/are; warriors are capable of withstanding a great amount of pain and warriors are trained to follow orders; so I wrote about this.

Here is the Story I wrote about that strength in the warrior.

Standing Still For Peace
My daughter and niece talk in Christian terms; I cannot do that. I have to think like Jesus.
I have to see the human being in front of me as seeing god or not seeing god. I have to see.
***
The world is full of different paths to god and they all whisper or scream that theirs only is the true god; which is a truth.
I though about this and I thought about the Buddhist, Hebrews, Romans, Egyptians and the other religions of the world.
They thought in terms of one god, many gods, I am god and I am. I was puzzled how can we live in peace and still believe as they did. There had to be a way to comprehend this puzzle.
***
When the United States was formed they knew why they had come to this new world they called America.
So one of the freedoms that they put in the Constitution was that each of us had the freedom to worship as they pleased.
***
Life has evolved and I now comprehend the world of religion.
Children are taught early in their lives how to think and how to comprehend their world of religion.
***
There is enough knowledge written about religion on this planet to comprehend peace and how it can be obtained.
***
Dream
A package of Christmas cards came in the mail in my dreams.
They were signed in large sweeping illegible script.
I awoke with a start, completely confused.
The package provided no clue as to where or of whom they were from.
The return address provided no clue as to where they had come from?
I am totally confused.
Today is the seventeenth of December and that dream is very disturbing.
Not in a dangerous way but in the pile of mud it places before me.
Life is very clear, clean and crisp. The light shines in though the windows giving life.
And that package of thought plowed to the top of my sleeping mind and awoke me.
Do we all see thoughts like these and do people really spit on our thoughts?
This is certainly not a thought that should be put online.
This is almost as disturbing as watching the war on television.
Where should my mind go?
There are clear places on the earth where life is simple, crisp and clean.
And there are places that are encrusted with hate and that cancerous hate burns at the earth.
Will water and good sense heal the wounds?
Will the power of the Holiday Spirit stop the violence?
Is this Holiday only a day marked on the calendar to cease the violence?
Can this day of “Peace on Earth” be extended or do we have more pressing matters to attend too?
The choice seems to lie with the Muslin leaders of the earth.
The choice seems to lie with the Christian leaders of the earth.
Are they going to surrender to god and stand still for peace?
***
Standing Still for Peace.
A man watches the world. He looks intense, standing still, he is aware.
He looks at every movement before him. He reads the signs of the day, he has not moved.
There is an internal stillness, he is waiting, patiently, standing watch.
***
Your thoughts fall like golden oak leaves.
Like golden rain they carpet the ground beneath my feet.
I pick them up and use them.
I paste them on the line with wooden pins.
***
What are the parameters for peace on this planet?
One is the ability for all human beings to have faith in peace and how that is to be achieved.
To achieve peace we need our bodies to put the energy created by our adrenaline to good work.
And if our bodies have a desire or rush to harm another human then there has to be something/or
someone stronger to believe in that will put your body in the correct frame of mind.
***
Standing still for peace.
I sat on the plane writing this thought:
How many of us live in a safe haven? Our protective shell, our home in a nutshell.
Peace and safety surrounding our being.
How does this cave of modern times differ from the time of bears breaking into our cabin and confronting us?
We still deal with earthquakes, rains and tides but our relative safety is quite good.
How did we ever get to this place of comfort where the local government does not pry into our being?
We hear about the rampage but the flooded waters move elsewhere.
+
As the plane landed a strange site appeared in my view.
People were standing like statues looking like an abstract painting in orange.
Some stood on bandanas, some on rifles.
They were scattered about like droppings from a plane.
So what is going on I ask? Someone handed me a folded paper with writing on it. The paper said,
"Orders from a higher authority:"
The sun was hot. Heat wavered over the red earth.
The shine of wet skin could be seen for miles.
Our higher authority had given the order.
The earth looked like hell.
For as far as you could see they had come, so there they stood.
Most were in agony. The physical and mental adjustments were excruciating.
Bodies were shaking internally. They were ordered to stand still and at attention, so they stood.
Acres of aches stood still. Emotion reverberated in their minds but they had orders.
They would stand until they got it right.
A lifetime of hate was being forced to the surface. He was ordered to stand still.
He was told that peace would come. He was wired like steel. He had the strength to endure this pain and he would.
He was ordered to do so. He stood like a statue, with his weapon or bandana under his feet.
Peace and Goodwill Prevail.
These orders came from a higher authority.
***
They must stand still for peace.
You can go to work and slay beef, fowl or pork and not to many folks will say what you do is evil.
You provide a service for the folks in your neighborhood.
You can on occasion just decide you have had enough and call work and say, " I won't be in today."
You take the day off and enjoy what life gives you. You made a decision, a simple decision.
The folks in the West and Middle East can lay their weapons down on the ground and stand on them at attention.
They can contemplate peace. They can stand thirty soldiers deep.
They can stand and think and do nothing but fight for peace in their solitude.
They can stand erect until every muscle in there body aches for peace.
They can let every killing emotion pass through their system of thought.
They can stand still until peace comes over their bodies.
Some will want to strangle the veined throat of their neighbor but they must stand still for peace.
This is a very painful process as they look down at their killing weapons.
They must follow orders they are now soldiers for peace.
They must stand still for peace."
***
"Confucius thought that a ruler who had to resort to force had already failed as a ruler",
so that is where the world is now. We are standing in the time-line of violence.
When one man stands still and ends the violence another man will shoot him off the pedestal of peace.
How many men will die for nothing?
This is what they can do.
They must stand still for peace.

***

A Variation

A package of Christmas cards came in the mail in my dreams.
They were signed in large sweeping illegible script.
I awoke with a start, completely confused.
The package provided no clue as to where or of whom they were from.
The return address provided no clue as to where they had come from?
I am totally confused.
Today is the seventeenth of December and that dream is very disturbing.
Not in a dangerous way but in the pile of mud it places before me.

Life is very clear, clean and crisp.
The light shines in though the windows giving life.
And that package of thought plowed to the top of my sleeping mind and awoke me.

Do we all see thoughts like these and do people really spit on our thoughts?
This is certianly not a thought that should be put online.

This is almost as disturbing as watching the war on television.

Where should my mind go?

There are clear places on the earth where life is simple, crisp and clean.
And there are places that are encrusted with hate and
that cancerous hate burns at the earth.

Will water and good sense heal the wounds?
Will the power of the Holiday Spirit stop the violence?
Is this Holiday only a day marked on the calendar to cease the violence?
Can this day of “Peace on Earth” be extended or
do we have more pressing matters to attend too?
The choice seems to lie with the Muslin leaders of the earth.
The choice seems to lie with the Christian leaders of the earth.
Are they going to surrender to god and stand still for peace?
***
Standing Still for Peace.

A man watches the world.
He looks intense, standing still, he is aware.
He looks at every movement before him.
He reads the signs of the day, he has not moved.
There is an internal stillness, he is waiting, patiently, standing watch.
***
Your thoughts fall like golden oak leaves.
Like golden rain they carpet the ground beneath my feet.
I pick them up and use them.
I paste them on the line with wooden pins.

***

What are the parameters for peace on this planet?
One is the ability for all human beings
to have faith in peace and how that is to be achieved.
To achieve peace we need our
bodies to put the energy created by our adrenaline to good work.
And if our bodies have a desire or rush to harm another human then
there has to be something/or someone stronger to
believe in that will put your body in the correct frame of mind.
***

I sat on the plane writing this thought:

How many of us live in a safe haven? Our protective shell, our home in a nutshell. Peace and safety surrounding our being. How does this cave of modern times differ from the time of bears breaking into our cabin and confronting us? We still deal with earthquakes, rains and tides but our relative safety is quite good. How did we ever get to this place of comfort where the local government does not pry into our being? We hear about the rampage but the flooded waters move elsewhere.
+
As the plane landed a strange site appeared in my view. People were standing like statues looking like an abstract painting in orange. Some stood on bandanas, some on rifles. They were scattered about like droppings from a plane.
So what is going on I ask? Someone handed me a folded paper with writing on it.
The paper said,
"Orders from a higher authority:
You can go to work and slay beef, fowl or pork. Not to many folks say what you do is evil. You provide a service for the folks in your neighborhood. You can on occasion just decide you have had enough and call work and say, " I won't be in today." You take the day off and enjoy what life gives you. You made a decision, a simple decision.
The folks in this land and that land can lay their weapons down on the ground and stand on them at attention. They can contemplate peace. They can stand thirty soldiers deep. They can stand and think and do nothing but fight for peace in their solitude. They can stand erect until every muscle in there body aches for peace. They can let every killing emotion pass through their system of thought. They can stand still until peace comes over their bodies. Some will want to strangle the veined throat of their neighbor but they must stand still for peace. This is a very painful process as they look down at their killing weapons. They must follow orders they are now soldiers for peace.
They must stand still for peace."
+
The sun was hot. Heat wavered over the red earth.
The shine of wet skin could be seen for miles.
Our higher authority had given the order.
The earth looked like hell.
For as far as you could see they had come, so there they stood.
Most were in agony.
The physical and mental adjustments were excruciating.
Bodies were shaking internally.
They were ordered to stand still and at attention, so they stood.
Acres of aches stood still.
Emotion reverberated in their minds but they had orders.
They would stand until they got it right.
+
A lifetime of hate was being forced to the surface.
He was ordered to stand still.
He was told that peace would come.
He was wired like steel.
He had the strength to endure this pain and he would.
He was ordered to do so.
He stood like a statue, with his weapon or bandana under his feet.
Peace and Goodwill Prevail.
They are going to surrender to god and stand still for peace.
These orders came from a higher authority.
+
Standing Still for Peace.
A man watches the world.
He looks intense, standing still, he is aware.
He looks at every movement before him.
He reads the signs of the day, he has not moved.
There is an internal stillness; he is waiting, patiently, standing watch.
He has surrender to god and stands still for peace.
These orders came from a higher authority.

In Back of Our Home

Good Morning,

Mom is up and cleaning house, her back hurts but there is no pain in her legs. I am sore but not as bad as yesterday which was not bad. We moved the early garden Greenhouse outside into the garage for the holidays. It will come in when early flowers fill the greenhouse in February. I will build (lay is more like it) a next to the house flower bed for tomatoes and vegetables. I will start after Christmas.

What's the point? Deer do not trust our home and stay away from it; hopefully that is a deterrent for the year. 

We spent the day yesterday cleaning a window and putting up the Sun Catcher in the  Sliding Door Window

Bright Sun

Good Morning,

What would you expect on a day like this, mild temperatures, blue skies, bright sunshine? Yes it is pleasant in Western Kentucky at this time in our lives. How are you and where are you? Is it as pleasant a morning for you?

I feel good mentally but I am not sure physically; I will know more as the day progresses. It could be like a cold and pass.

Look at the sun, it is bright.

The Tablet, TV and Rocker

Sun Day Morning,

Today I rest; I dug the van out yesterday, I am tired and sore. I am always sore but today marks a good day to rest. Common sense gave the citizens of the planet a day of rest. Those that dwell on greed want the planet to work for their pleasures.

Positive Thinking

August 4, 2014

Good Morning,

It is nice and cool outside this morning. Why do I constantly say the same thing over and over again; don’t I have any flavors of life to color my mind other than the “Good Morning it is nice out today”?

There is a message and it goes back to propaganda,  Pavlov, The movie, “The Manchurian Candidate, Jesus, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, The Power of Positive Thinking, Moses and the Ten Commandments and the 1960’s.

What I do is place the mind where it belongs, as in:

A point of view:

Sometimes our thoughts are compiled into a point of view.
You know the thoughts about what we think of the world as it stands today.
But there is another point of view.
A simple point of view, a view we sometimes forget about because it is always there, always available.
It is the point of view that we see when we first wake up.
Or the point of view we see when we look out at the world to see what is before us.
It may be a garden out back, a working crew viewed through an open window,
a sandy beach with a red horizon, and a blacktop road at fifty miles per hour.
It is a deliberate choice that we make to put us in our proper perspective with our environment.
I can vision my body going out into a meadow and closing my eyes.
Standing still and then opening my eyes for the first time.
Absorbing the texture and colors in my point of view.
The thoughts moving through my mind are the colors, textures and smells of my surroundings.
A point of view.

***

I sat on the plane writing this thought:

How many of us live in a safe haven? Our protective shell, our home in a nutshell. Peace and safety surrounding our being. How does this cave of modern times differ from the time of bears breaking into our cabin and confronting us? We still deal with earthquakes, rains and tides but our relative safety is quite good. How did we ever get to this place of comfort where the local government does not pry into our being? We hear about the rampage but the flooded waters move elsewhere.

+

As the plane landed a strange site appeared in my view. People were standing like statues looking like an abstract painting in orange. Some stood on bandanas, some on rifles. They were scattered about like droppings from a plane.

So what is going on I ask? Someone handed me a folded paper with writing on it. The paper said,

"Orders from a higher authority:"

 The sun was hot. Heat wavered over the red earth. The shine of wet skin could be seen for miles. Our higher authority had given the order. The earth looked like hell. For as far as you could see they had come, so there they stood. Most were in agony. The physical and mental adjustments were excruciating. Bodies were shaking internally. They were ordered to stand still and at attention, so they stood. Acres of aches stood still. Emotion reverberated in their minds but they had orders. They would stand until they got it right.

 A lifetime of hate was being forced to the surface. He was ordered to stand still. He was told that peace would come. He was wired like steel. He had the strength to endure this pain and he would. He was ordered to do so. He stood like a statue, with his weapon or bandana under his feet.

Peace and Goodwill Prevail.

These orders came from a higher authority.

***

They must stand still for peace.

You can go to work and slay beef, fowl or pork and not too many folks will say what you do is evil. You provide a service for the folks in your neighborhood. You can on occasion just decide you have had enough and call work and say, “I won't be in today." You take the day off and enjoy what life gives you. You made a decision, a simple decision.

The folks in the West and Middle East can lay their weapons down on the ground and stand on them at attention. They can contemplate peace. They can stand thirty soldiers deep. They can stand and think and do nothing but fight for peace in their solitude. They can stand erect until every muscle in there body aches for peace. They can let every killing emotion pass through their system of thought. They can stand still until peace comes over their bodies. Some will want to strangle the veined throat of their neighbor but they must stand still for peace. This is a very painful process as they look down at their killing weapons. They must follow orders they are now soldiers for peace. They must stand still for peace."

***

"Confucius thought that a ruler who had to resort to force had already failed as a ruler",

so that is where the world is now. We are standing in the timeline of violence.

When one man stands still and ends the violence another man will shoot him off the pedestal of peace.

How many men will die for nothing?

This is what they can do.

They must stand still for peace.
"Orders from a higher authority:"

Rain or Shine?

Good Morning,

It is 67 degrees outside this morning; our chance of rain is slim. It seems as though it could rain at this moment. I feel fine this morning. Laurel seems to be fine sitting in a chair, a bed or lazy boy bother her as does the pool. We did not do much yesterday but visit via FaceBook, read books and listened to music. Mom did put a quilt she bought at a yard sale on the bed in Allison’s room.

I did mention before that the kitten goes up and down trees. She never gives it a thought she just travels fast it any direction.

Today is Sunday or as I call it from time to time ,”The Sun Day” ; we do not owe the sun anything but it does provide the planet earth through circumstance heat that gives an environment to live in. I understand that we evolved to use the energy of the sun and what our environment provides as far as living conditions go. We have found out that the astronauts in space evolve quickly and do not need support as in bones in space. Food does not go down as it does on the planet.
***
The photo above;

For 50 years I worked for the good of the country and for my work my country paid me a wage. Since 2003 I have been working without a wage for my country.

I will remember Memorial Day as the day of the mother/soldier.
My mother fighting off my father to defend her children from
the great war in our family only to disappear beyond the thoughts of this nation/man.
I will remember all mothers who fight off the drunken rebel and the tyranny of their broken lives.
I will remember all the women and men who fought and died in the struggle to stay sane in our world gone mad.
I will remember Memorial Day as the nation of men and women who died fighting off
the tyranny to make our country free from the evils of mankind.
Our Gererations of Love comes streaming through the Valley to our Hearts.

***

Rebecca
I wrote this piece below the other day to try explaining to everyone that we are here no matter what happens to the earth.
I realize that the earth could explode and dust/and or vapor would be all that is left. Whatever.
Some particle of life will be there. Some substance of our presence will be there.
Saying that I thought about my mother and her presence on earth.
Her physical presence has not been found or I am not aware of whoever knows of her presence on
this planet but I realize this.
She is here.
She loved, lived and became a mother of three children that I am aware of.
She was a sister in a family who say that are not aware of her present existence today.
All that is left to me is speculation about her whereabouts.
So I now I know that in a photo taken from space of this planet that my mothers dust or presence will be there.
Her marble marker in life is here in these words and every photo of earth.
Her life is in my substance and in my families.
Life should have been better for her.
Rebecca

***
We are the dust as we are the body.
I am going thru a phase where I understand words. This should have happened
when I was sixteen years old. Well whatever if by some chance I'll be reincarnated
as some minute particle on this planet of ours I want to be completely aware
of my standing in life.
 When they take a photo of the earth from space to give us our weather and
show us a nice snapshot of earth. We are there with all the animals and
trees and rocks and sand. The water moves about in waves and our long lost
and departed are there. Nothing has changed but time as it passes. We are
there on earth, we exist, and we occupy our space in time. We can't seem
to see our bodies or the soil beneath our feet but we know we are there.
We are the dust as we are the body.cca

***
Do we as humans blunder into places where our mind has no business being?
You know the place that keeps us up all night with worry and a chocolate high.
The place where the heart races to undo the damage of lost sleep.
How do we get back to the place where whatever we see is there?
Do we have to count on our fingers about this little piggy?
Are we getting closer to the point in time that sees the word before you and as you look away you see whatever you eyes see?
Can we clearly see the puzzle?
Are we there? Are we here?
Are we at the place our scholars talk about?
The answer is always yes at this time and no we are not in 1945 but we
do understand that they were as aware as we are now.
Rebecca
***
We read poetry and sometimes a great novel.
History and biographies pass along our paths.
Sometimes we meet a human that is a novel, a human story, a biography, and a person with a life that is a story.
Could it be that each one of us is indeed that great novel?
We as individuals are cloaked in suspense and drama, veiled in insecurities and peaceful oblivion.
We share what all great writers write about, we carry our novels in our souls as
we walk into that great storeroom of good words.
This is a nice thought.
Rebecca
***
Things you hate to write down but somehow you must.
Berea, Ky. in the late 1980's.
My sister Sandy told me that my father had said to her that a good place to hide a body is under a tree.
Deep down in her heart my sister was not impressed with that statement.
Marion, Ky. in the year 2002.
On our recent trip to California my stepsister Diane told me that my father had threatened my stepmother Gladys by saying that she could be buried under a tree. She left him in the late 1970's or 80's. I do not know if that particular event opened the gate but it was probably close to the end for them being together.
I have come to the conclusion that my mother is buried in some beautiful garden in California.
My grandfather and his sons including my father worked at a prominent garden in the San Gabriel Valley.
My grandfather worked all the years that I remember at this garden.
Rebecca

My mother the mystery.
Is s

My mother the mystery.
Is she still alive?

In July 1945, My mother brought my sister and I  to the Aurelia home, her parents home.
She said she was going to look at furniture at a store in San Gabriel, she then disappeared and never came back.
Rafael Arellanes hired a detective to look for her, but there was no trace.
Dennis Diaz was almost 4 years old and Sandy Diaz was less than 1 year old.
Per Betty and Daniel Arellanes. Dianiel was my mother's brother.

This is 1998 and she is still missing.
Laurel is looking for her, obsessed by the idea that my mother can't hide from her either dead or alive..
My skin is tanned, keeping the rain, sun, sand and emotions at bay for the last forty years.
The Trekkies would be proud of my defensive shield.
It is a sad state of affairs when I'll neither care or cry When/if she is found.
I get the feeling that the less I ask the better.
I can't ask any of my family about my mother without bringing back pain and tears.
The best minds are at work looking for her.
***
Hair, long corn tassels, my grandmothers gray-orange-white-gray hair.
She had long hair down to her waste, hair that she braided and rolled up
into a bun on her head. Hair that you would see in her photo, hair that
reminded me of an Indian Maiden. Hair that reminds me of love, comfort
and reason.
***
I am reminded of my mother, while taking a shower this afternoon, thoughts of my mother
came to the forefront. I wonder why no one has come forward to explain
where she went. My mother has not come forward. My father while he was
alive did not come forward to explain. My aunts and uncles only know
that she left, they did not come forward. The government has not come
forward. Not even a vague sense has come forward.
No one has come forward with an explanation. Here I am a man of
nearly sixty with no explanation about my mother. No clue. Every time I
broach the subject I bring tears into the eyes of my aunts and uncles, I
am forever lost, an island, a constant reminder of something sweet in
their past that has gone, forever lost.
Out of sight out of mind, how sad.
I sit and write wondering what I did as a child to have to endure such
emptiness.
I sympathize with everyone that has some sort of problem; I defend his or her
existence. So when everyone in the sixties defended every ones right to
the pursuit of happiness I was very pleased to take my place on this
earth, to be accepted as a being on earth.

Speculation
Where do I turn to find my mother. Laurel has exhausted all the legal tools at hand.
S.S. can not mail a letter to her until they find an address. No one has ever reported her dead.
She has disappeared from visible site, I do not know what she looked like, thought my dad showed me a picture of her in 1951. That photo is lost.
She was a beauty with a singing voice. She was not meant to be a mother. She loved the night life, my dad and her partied across Southern California.
What do I think?
Was she moved into hiding by the government for some knowledge she possessed?
Did my dad do away with her?
These two above thoughts are in the direction I lean toward. The first thought can be traced in two directions, from her end and from this end. Nothing!
The second thought. My dad is not capable of hiding a body without help? So I look into where he worked or his family worked? My dads parents were devote Catholics, my mother was christian, I assume her mother was a seventh day adventist. Her sisters were Methodist? I spent many hours in tents in downtown L.A.
If my dad had help covering up a body, who would get him out a jam?
Where were people working at that time.
What did everyone have in common. Three places come to mind. My fathers home, where he grew up. (Where everyone danced at Gilberts baptism party.)
The San Gabriel Mission, the Pablo  family is quite prominent in this community and helped mold the structure with mortar.
And last but not least, The Huntington Library.
This is where Pablo was a prominent gardener. His cactus garden is famous.
All the sons worked there with their dad Pablo in the forties, fifties and sixties.
My dad told my sister that under a tree would be a good place to hide someone.

Another Prayer

Good Morning,
Our neighbor just passed away. Rest in Peace Mike.

The kittens slept with me last night and it is strange just rolling over. I have to get up, take a look, and then rearrange the cats.
***

I feel good.
***

I did learn in the 1960's that "wanting" was very unhealthy sometimes. I have kept my needs on day basis. I let the money pile up as I have no use for it. The planet spins its tale of wanting what I have as they scrape a few coins away.

I cannot teach the thought, it has to brighten our day as an illumination.

I have no answer and I do write them down. In the 1960's they said Yin and Yang and Far Out. People die in agony wanting more from the planet. 

***

People are angry because I just sit and write. Where is the bread you should be baking? I did slave and it hurt my body so I sit and compose. The world flame just swirls around my being. I have compost and a pool, quiet and a kitten.

Laurel Finally Caught the Kitten Asleep

The Calico is Bandit and the sandy one is Sandy.

***
Oh halo
I stand in an aura of warmth
A variety of emotions
A cross culture of a human being
I placed Christmas lights on a tree
I placed the Star of David a top the tree
I sent out a Hanukah gift and Christmas Greetings
I am listening to Jamiroquai
My mornings start anew without any thought
Pure…..then the ego emerges
I open my eyes then the light
I am the variety of my being
No peg…. There is no peg hole
Spirituality?…….Zen?......Hebrew?........ Christian?..........Agnostic?
Nothing ……. Confucianism?...... Yin Yang?.......
As a child my body was dipped into all those words
My ego took the best for my self…..greedy child
The sun brightens our days and the earth turns away the light.
Cycles?
I do not have a clue but I did travel though San Francisco in the sixties
And I did see the Manchurian Candidate.
I stand in an aura of warmth
Oh halo

Some Kind of Incarnation

If we could spend some time in space looking down at the earth what could we see?
Does the ash from the burning bush fall to the earth or does it float forever?
There is too much of us on this planet to say that we do not exist after our death.
There is dust, an atmosphere, memory, bone, minds, books, carvings, candles and
mirrors, seeds that we planted plus all that spiritual realm that
exists in the mind of man.
The earth is made up of living organisms,
dumb or intelligent, green and tall, or deep and blue.
To say that we become nothing after our death is just wishful thinking.
In our mind we could just exist and no more could be said.
But rumors abound in the whispers of men, someone has burned or buried us,
we have risen with ash or we have turned in the soil.
We could always fly your body into outer space but if we did then you would be there.
It would be very difficult to remove us from existence.
We are as much a part of this earth as the earth is part of us.
Men and women have spoken in word about where we will go, no one knows.
Our thought plus religion and atheism are just minor movements in the minds of men.
Whatever we decide is where we will be.
Everything that we see is some kind of incarnation of existence.
+
We can stand still and hold a candle and the world around us will be illuminated.
We can stand still without a candle and our body will work internally and
create an aura of warmth around us; our halo.
We can pick up the candle or we can leave it behind but it is difficult to remove the aura that surrounds us.
That fact that I speak about it creates some kind of incarnation of existence.

Some Kind of Incarnation