There is a way to think and be as a way of life. My first knowledge of it came by always wanting to find the truth as a child. There were always conflict in my mind with the established way of doing business. First it was the parents then it was the Church. I never knew that I was doing the right thing because I was always in some conflict with the way things were done. Jesus and Gandhi were doing it right so why wasn't I? My first clue was my movements from my grandmother to my Dad and my stepmother, the second clue was the idea of omnipotence. Then I moved to our new family where my new stepmother had children of her own and I quickly fell in love with her daughter. At the moment you cannot see the truths but they are there and each step brings me closer to what we call seeing the light. Back then I am reading about Michelangelo and Leonardo da Vinci, science fiction short stories because my step brother has stack of them he has already read in our room. There is still the conflict where I think I am wrong because society has one truth and I have my own truths which I think are wrong because they came out of the books I was reading. I was also reading about the Catholic Saints in my personal studies and I came to realize that I was going to be a philosopher. What I never did realize was what was going on in my life as I moved from person to person that they were nice people and each of them gave me some of themselves as life moves forward.Clues:
The Manchurian Candidate
Communist propaganda
Stranger in a Strange Land
Ivan Pavlov
The truth hit me late as I understood that with each environment I was placed in came a very good person.
So the simple truth is that if you have nice friends then you will become a very nice human being.
If you are raised in a terrible place without good people then you mind will go in that direction.
So hang out with nice people, read good books, think good thoughts, love life and understand that life is a gift from mom and god.
Living without a mother in your life sure messed you up as a child. I never missed what I didn't know was missing, but I was always searching for love and acceptance.
ReplyDeleteI never gave my father any credit until after he died and then it was too late to thank him for being the best father he could be to me. He could have just left us alone for other people to raise but he wanted us with him and that should count for something. I notice that you always give your mother credit and hold her in high esteem just because she left. Maybe we should have given our father all the credit he deserved for staying. Nobody is a perfect parent.
I just can't imagine all the turmoil that you must have felt as a child. I believe you were a philosopher back then, weighing everything in your head. I was a child and played like a child without a care in the world. I accepted the death of my mother, which was not the same mother as you were thinking of. My mother was my grandmother Natalia and the rest is all speculation.