It is a gray morning in Kentucky. In the quiet of morning the Mockingbird is singing his or her song. I hear a hum in my ear, it is either electricity in this home or a ringing in my ear. I have no clue? It could be the sound of thought traveling the circuits in my brain. Other than that it is quiet.
My sister Sandy is sick this morning and I do hope she feels better by this afternoon. I sent here these jokes.
Q: How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: Look for his footprints in the cheesecake.
Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
A: Because there were so many knights!
Q: What's red and white on the outside but gray and white on the inside?
A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant Soup!
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q: How do you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Look for two sets of footprints side by side.
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: By norse code!
Q: Who invented fractions?
A: Henry the 1/4th!
Q: How do you tell if there are three elephants in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't close.
Q: How do you make instant elephant?
A: Open the package, add water, and run!
Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?
A: Floodlights!
Q: How many giraffes will fit in the refrigerator?
A: None: there are already too many elephants in there.
Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party?
A: "I don't know, I wasn't invited!"
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in a strawberry patch.
Q: What's purple and 5000 miles long?
A: The grape wall of China.
Q: How do you get an elephant into a Volkswagon Beetle?
A: Open the door, insert elephant, close door.
Q: What did Mason say to Dixon?
A: We've got to draw the line here!
Q: Who made King Arthur's round table?
A: Sir-Cumference
Q: How do you get 4 elephants in a Volkswagon?
A: Two in the front and two in the back
Q: Who is the most famous male singing elephant?
A: Harry Elephante he is in the back seat of the Volkswagon.
Q: Who built the ark?
A: I have Noah idea!
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.
Q: Why aren't you doing well in history?
A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened
before I was born!
Q: How do you know if an elephant is visiting your house?
A: There is a Volkswagon parked outside with 3 elephants in it and Harry Elephante singing in your yard.
Q: What did Ceasar say to Cleopatra?
A: Toga-ether we can rule the world!
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q: Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 8 miles
to school every day!
A: "Well, he should have gotten up earlier and caught the schoolbus
like everyone else!"
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: At the bottom!
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
A: The same middle name!
Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school?
A: "History, because it's full of dates!"
Q: Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?
A: Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He
invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except five.
Which ones?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge and the elephants which are at your home.
Q: "When a knight was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?"
A: Rust in peace!
Q: How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
A: With a pair of Caesars!
Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?
A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.
Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?
A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open
the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
I loved the jokes you sent me...they were silly and made me laugh. I went ahead and passed them on to a couple of people hoping to make them laugh out loud too.
ReplyDeleteIt feels good to laugh.
I'm feeling a little better this morning although I feel like I am in a fog, nothing hurts. I'm a bit weezy and you can hear me breathe and perhaps that's the humming you are hearing in your ears. Suzanne said my weezing is pretty loud.