When our cats go out their hair stands on end, their ears perk up and their senses are keen on ever present danger. When they are indoors they flop on their backs and forget about any danger.
When I go out I feel the same as I do indoors and that is because we have a strong military that watches the edges of our country under the sea (unseen) and in the air (unseen). We know they are there and so does the planet. We know that terrorist try to play messy mind games with the idea to foil our Independence but it just does not work because mentally we are all sound of mind and body and fully capable of using weapons as a group.
We have thieves that feel differently because they are always guilty in mind and mood.
Most of us feel great.
Some of us have agendas and lists and if those needs (wants) are not met they get upset.
I have left that world behind and learned not to want.
The best way to do something is to just start doing it, put it away when you are not finished and continue it when the mood returns.
I know that jobs depend of agendas and lists. If those needs are not met so be it. We can try again tomorrow there is no sense in keeping that thought in mind after the work day is done.
I awoke in the middle of the night wanting to be.
The mind wants to look into a window.
My head is pressed against the glass looking in.
This is one of those moments where love wants you elsewhere.
Why do I keep repeating those vows? Why should there be a longing in this soul?
Have I not learned my lessons; hasn't the teacher written the formula on the blackboard; wasn't it all explained in great detail?
I know those answers.
There is a great need to be loved, appreciated, cherished and adored. I do not think that I am much different from anyone else. Age does not lesson our needs. I wish I could walk like the gods amongst the
flowing flowers in today's breezes.
The key question is the wanting.
There is life, it is at my feet, there is love, and it is in my being.
So why did I awake in the middle of the night longing for lost vows?
Why did I so easily forget my place in the sun?
The key question is the wanting.
Did something break that bond that was sealed so long ago? Did the mother just now wean the child in this mornings dream? There is a tang, a splinter, and a crack in this bond. There is a chain that is
dragging around my neck.
Is it love and a vow?
I think it is, it is like sweet cream, a warm flow, a guiding light, a walking hand in hand, a splendid sunset, a warm emotion.
Those feeling want to leave and I know they shouldn't. Time heals all wounds. So maybe the satellite will hover over my head and all will be well.
Life should be swell. I still want peace.
My answers have not come like a revelation. There is no supreme angel of love that will drop from my heaven and grasp me and soothe my heart. There should be, there was and life has changed.
The vegetables and the flowers will still be in the garden in the morning. The dew will be on the grass.
The goldfinches and the hummingbird will still dart about my morning skies.
This emotion has moved from my mind to this screen. Hopefully some mind will understand this old man and see that we all pang in our lifetime. This is not an ailment that is just for the young but an ailment of
all of mankind.
I took a nap; it is now 7 am, what was I thinking about at 3 am this morning? It was important, I guess I'll just have to read what I wrote, this morning is a warm gray in color and feel, Laurel has gone to
I feel more at home now and I realize that this planet is just below my feet.
That is a statement that we all can make. Yes, this is remarkable sphere that we live and walk on.
I am told that it is round.
I awoke in the middle of the night wanting to be loved.